Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Indianism... South Indianism. Understand? Good.

After reading this from a link sent by a pathologically English language-savvy friend, I thought it is but necessary to conserve those things about the language that make it more endearing than most. Every other language has a few styles, dialects, accents and slang and I'm sure you know how they all come about, but English is like Rajinikanth. Everybody may speak all other languages, but English. speaks. You. Him. Her. Everybody! Mind it. Here is my small ode to the holy matrimony of Tamil and English-  as can be spoken only by the convent-going altaaps of Chennai. All those who have had their initiation to this particular form of Tanglish may please play the dialogues in their own voices, adding the necessary pauses, exclamations and such other embellishments. For the uninitiated, nevertheless Tamil speaking readers, please transliterate every one of these dialogues into Tamil. (For example, an exasperated, "Podi! Evalavudhaan naanum poruthu poruthu paakaradhu?" would become an equally exasperated, "Go ya! How much time I should also wait and wait and see, huh?" Yes, we are really simple that way) 

Kindly revert. Will be thrilled to receive ideas on other models of invaluably eccentric forms of this mother of all funny languages. Here goes:-

D: Hallo? A? I am D this side..
A: Hey hi D! Long time no?? How are you men?
D: I am fine ya... Just passed out of medical college. I heard you're out of station, but I still just wanted to see if you've come back. I'm in Chennai only now.
A: Hey really? Where are you putting up?
D: At Anna Nagar, just backside of Iyyappan temple. I and my mother and my brother and my father have settled here for the next three months. I said to you sometime back no, that my father was transferring because of his job? My brother's exams also preponed. So my mother said to me, "Do one thing, you also come be with us only. Three months don't work. Then we'll search. Okay?" So I said, wokay.. Nice no? Full holidays only..
A: Hey niiiice... Nowadays and all which parent will tell like that you tell me! I also have no, my parents... hmm (snorts)
D: Hey don't talk bad about your parents okay.. I know your mother and all will nev-ver say anything to not do. And your father is so soft and so cute and..
A: Hullo... he's my father ok... So don't put line for him!
D: Ah, okay okay...
A: Okay, tell me one thing.. How is P and G and that L? There were also two A's no, in our twelth standard, who came to your college with you? What are they all doing?
D: P got chucked out
A: Why?
D: Why because he was drinking cigarettes in class itself. In front of the teacher that too!
A: Oh God! That boy is so brainless! You remember when I used to mind the class in school, he used to always tease me. Pah!! At least in college I thought he should have gotten some brains...
D: He studies well only ya.. He should have been rank holder also! But I think so some problem in his house.. What to do? His friends are also like that only, rowdy gang, all full of them!
A: Oho.. Okay, so what about the others?
D: Wait, I am wearing a new jean... It is tight fitting. I've inserted my shirt. Now it is hurting.. Ah....! ok, now it's loosed.. So...... that's what ya. That G and L are now going to abroad for their MD. Both the A's, I don't know I've not seen them since I think our passing out days from school.
A: Just now only I was watching our farewell album men... How much small we all look you know? Hey you remember BC ah? That Chemistry teacher who took English for us! "Bangles, CRYstal bangles!" ha hahahahaha... Who only put her for teaching English I can't understand.. "bangles CRYstal bangles" it seems...! Ha hahahahaha
D: Ha hahahahahahah yes ya... Ayyoo she was so scaring! Always shouted at that poor fellow F for nothing.
A: I told you to not to say nothing to her.. You only very bigly went and told F did not do anything wrong. Then see what happened... She nicely gave you one with that long stick of hers!
D: Ah, don't remind! Now also it hurts!
A: Hahaha... That and all was one golden time men!  Now and all will we get back those times? Ok, when are you giving treat?? Gold medal and all!
D: Huh, that and all I don't know pa! I only know with how much difficulty I managed to get sometime from home to call my friends. Treat I believe.. Treat all will come only after I get a job. Now for three months housework and family time only.
A: What child? You'll not even give treat ah? Wait wait, I will only talk to Aunty and get the treat. What is this..!!
D: Okay okay do what you like.. Hey what's the time?
A: Four o clock.
D: Four ah! Now I'll keep the phone... don't mistake okay? Some important call must be coming for my Dad he said, after four o clock. If the phone is busy, that's all! We will nicely get it from him! I will call you like this maybe tomorrow okay?
A: Hey no problem ya.. Bye! Call to me after six okay? Bye!
D: Bye-bye..